I don't talk as much in person, unless you're a snowman.

Hi. (talking to self)

There are myriad issues worthy of much discussion right now. A lot has happened: SC decision over EO1, SUCs Budget Cut, Dropping of Charges against the Morong43, Updates on the Vizconde Massacre and the Dacer-Corbito Murder Case, North Korea-South Korea Relations, Trouble over the Nobel Prize, this list can go on.

BUT I think I shall reserve my thoughts on these issues for a different time (and perhaps, for a different space). This blog will serve as my happy space. I'll find another personal space that could hold more serious essays and reflections (which this blog might lack) regarding the  mentioned topics. I might start a different account - for essays, CW outputs (which are also found here), reflections.

And another account - for CHIBI thingies (a dead hobby), musical compositions, curly and cerulean-themed fantasies (oooh).

I digress.

For the meantime, I'll keep a quasi-blithe vibe for this account.

Here's a "hihi" to keep things light and jaunty.

One more: Hihi.

****

Hi. 

It's December. The 10th of December. 2010 is coming to its end. 2011 is just a few yawns away (I've been feeling extra drowsy these past days). Next year will (should) be exciting.

This semester, I've been particularly interested in issues regarding "Development." I've been reading about the various notions on poverty and development. I think I have found my real path. Recent realizations and pensive ponder hours have given me a lot to worry about. But I do not carry these worries alone, these are worries that all nations carry. I feel more connected to a previously estranged world. And it feels strangely good to finally feel so passionate about something. All of these realizations and elations were inspired by my Broadcasting and Development class (my favorite class so far). The confusion and uncertainty is still here with me, but at least there is some progress. I now know the many paths I could take. The glossy media is definitely not part of this list. I still have around three semesters to think this over. What will I do with my college life? And what will I do with the years that follow? What can I do to contribute to plates other than my own?

Answers will come. I should start looking.

After college, I want to study Sociology. Grad. School, I think we'll be spending a lot of time together in the future. But before we meet, I hope I can develop a good relationship with the world. 

I recently revealed my "When-I'm-Old-and-Grey" Dream to a friend, so I might as well reveal it here:

After retiring from my chosen career (which is an on-going search as of the moment), I want to live in a simple home somewhere really far. Yes, this is very close to living a highly reclusive lifestyle. Perhaps in a small village somewhere near the sea. Or perhaps in some strange mountain.

I want to spend my remaining years writing (and perhaps teaching/inspiring kids).

But before this move, I want to run a bookstore cafe. 

And before the bookstore business, I want to teach.

And before teaching, I want to immerse myself with the world's concerns.

And before that, I need to understand the world better.

And before that, I need to understand myself better.

Let's end it here.

***

My sleeping problem has exacerbated. I cannot sleep at night and I feel immensely drowsy during the day. This is bad. I am badly affected. I feel tired. To counter this undesirable languor, I drink coffee more often than I should (which doesn't really work). I am now used to this eternal forlorn dimension. This perpetual uneasiness is now the norm. I partly blame my TTH 7PM class. I feel like I'm living inside an igloo, draped with rows of sleeping pills (bad metaphor). But then again, I shouldn't blame anyone or anything for my sleep-deprived state. I shall adjust, I shall improve my time management skills (if any), I shall stop singing (or limit my shower performance to just 2 songs instead of 5) in the shower to save time. (hoho)

BUT I should still make time for READING for pleasure, film viewing (and making), creative writing, and musical experiments.

I'm sure that all of us have a lot of things we want to do. Incessant rows of dreams and goals. I have all these dreams and plans, and the challenge for me is to actually start making them happen. I need to translate these plans into actuality. I'm not in a hurry. I just want to start. And enjoy the process of discovering ways to reach these goals.

***

I was supposed to read "Bee Season" by Myla Goldberg, but Franz Kafka distracted me with his "The Metamorphosis." Thus, now I am reading the latter (which I found in my favorite secondhand bookstore in campus).

Don't you just love secondhand bookstores? Aaah. The smell of old books, the tall piles of dusty books, the wrinkled and faded pages. I want to live inside a bookstore - this was my childhood fantasy. But now I want to own a bookstore cafe. Soon. Or not so soon. Nevertheless, we shall meet each other, future business.

I haven't watched much movies lately. But here are some of the films I've recently watched:

Leisure time:

* Mysterious Skin (Gregg Araki, 2004)

- This had a great impact on me. Yes, it is a disturbing film. What makes it more disturbing is the fact that as viewers we are not just outside observers, but we know that this fictional story actually happens in real life.

* Scott Pilgrim VS The World (Edgar Wright, 2010)

- It was fun. And Mr. Cera was in it. Oh.

* Senior Year (Jerrold Tarog, 2010)

- Great film! I'll write about this next time. I watched this yesterday.

In class: 

* Oliver (Nick Deocampo, 1983)

* Celso and Cora (Gary Kildea, 1983)

* Nanook of the North (Robert Flaherty, 1922)

- These are some of my favorite movies that we watched in class. (mostly from my broadcasting and development class and my ethnographic videography class)

I want to watch more old Filipino films. It's sad that most students don't have access to these wonderful films. I hope that today's youth would be more exposed to these kinds of movies.

I'll post film reactions in my tumblr account : )

***

THE SAD PART: I haven't watched any ANIME. I feel so empty (prone to exaggeration).

I shall finish watching K-On!S2 soon.

***

I have 12 organ compositions so far! Cheers! 

Cheers to more compositions!

Haruka Nakamura (Japanese composer), you still inspire me.

And of course, it all began with you, Mr. Debussy : )

***

I attended this year's LGBT Pride March last Saturday. It was our field trip in my LGBT Psychology class. What an interesting event that was. And now, heaps of contradicting queries have just added to my plate. 

I am looking forward to writing my first comic book script for my Creative Writing class. I'm also quite excited (and nervous) for my Poetry and Fiction Writing exercises. This will be fun : )

***

In other (irrelevant but semi-interesting) news,

* I think I have gotten over my brief episode of "Limerence." Finally.

* I jogged once. Just once since classes started. This is sad. hoho.

* My housemate and I are planning on creating a food blog. We'll be reviewing ALL the restaurants in Katipunan, QC. Yes, we are ambitious (and hungry) and we need money/donations.

* There are carolers! Hihi

* I finally bought my first bar of Meiji Milk Chocolate. I finally had my first cup of Yogato. Hoho

* I finally have my passport! And I already sent a scanned copy to my coordinator from Ritsumeikan. The final results will be out in February. I really (repeat ten million times) hope that I pass! Oh, please! Utang na loob! Please lang, please.

* My friend who applied for a scholarship in Korea already passed. I'm so happy for her. I hope that I'm as lucky as her : )

* Why are white shirts so amusing? Why? Oh nooo. haha

bye

Medyo malamig na. Medyo. Ang saya : )

Medyo weird na dalawang araw ko nang kinakanta yung "Chasing Pavements" (Adele). Medyo may relevance. Medyo napapanahon. O hindi rin. Oh.

Hindi ko na masyado nakikita si mysterious curly person (classmate last sem). Interesting progress. This shall turn into a short story/poem (partly inspired by my Psych class and CW class.oh)

I'm applying for another org. I feel that it's already too late in the game uh-huh, but let's see if this ends well.

I'm seriously pondering over character issues. I knew that this would happen if I took that course. I knew it. Good thing, I had a very enlightening conversation today, with a very knowledgeable friend.

Cheers to mulling sessions and eclectic decisions!

This month is vehemently interesting. Yes.